I was one that said, “actions speak louder than words,” but now I realized my actions are saying shit therefore my spoken words mean shit.

I have been working on bettering myself for the longest but since no one see’s me doing it they assume I’m doing nothing and amount to nothing.

I wish the truth would come to light, you’d be a dead man walking. But then I realize the pain behind the truth so I hide it…. I hate you and I don’t use that word often. But yes I hate you and I fear you the most and it’s not suppose to be like this… You went to far and so now I wash my hands with you and when it comes to you I’ll leave it in God’s hands.

No one can judge me for they are not me, they have never walked in my shoes, therefore they can not tell me anything about me.

I am so tired of the everyday bullshit that I have to deal with. Things are always going good then bad then good then back down to bad. I am so annoyed at times that it drives me insane. I am so annoyed that it’s ridiculous.

You deserve better… The facts became visible but I ignored them… God saw that I deserved better and he send the facts straight to me… Now it’s up to me to handle this the right way… I am not blind I see the facts and yes I am paying full attention to them… I was being selfish and was letting things slide because of my selfish needs but now I see I deserve better so I just have to take one day at a time…

I could be cocky and say, they hating on what we have because they want what we have; BUT I CAN’T… I could be cocky and say, they just mad cause you moved on; BUT I CAN’T… I could be cocky and say, they just made cause you’ve changed your life around; BUT I CAN’T… I was on a cocky high for a month, couldn’t no one tell me nothing. I was becoming rock headed and changing in a bad way until somethings came to light. Now I see the light and I see my mistakes. I could blame you; BUT I CAN’T.

Life in general has it’s haters and its congratulators. 25% of the people in life some who know you and many who don’t will hate you because you either have something they want, your somewhere they wanna be or they hate seeing others succeed. 75% of the people in life some who know you and many who don’t will congratulate you on everything positive in your life because they are the kind of people who live to see others just as happy as themselves or they are the type of people who could careless if you happy they happy and they aren’t going to step on your feet or knock you down to feel good about themselves.

I don’t like you and haven’t for years but yet I stuck by your side through allot but now I can’t take it any more.

Damn my day turned upside down quickly. Lost it for a second and almost went back to my old ways, glad I caught myself just in time. Damn I can’t believe this keeps happening to me. Everytime I’m happy someone or something knocks me down.

This year started off beautiful. It started to fall out of linement. It quickly picked up again. Took another drift downward. Picked back up again.